Championship Fathers

I am sooo excited about hearing Carey Casey, CEO of the National Center for Fathering speak at our Championship Fathering event next Thursday. He is mesmerizing when he speaks. He is not only a father, but a ferocious advocate for children and fathers. You can so clearly hear this man's heart when he speaks about the importance of fathers being involved in the lives of their children. I consider it an honor to call him friend and a co-laborer in our work to build strong families.

I hope you will encourage the men in your life who are involved in the lives of children or will be involved in the lives of children, to attend Championship Fathering. This is an event they will not want to miss! Guaranteed!!!!

For more information visit www.firstthings.org

Involved Fathers

Did you know that there are 65 million fathers in America and many of them are not involved in the lives of their children. Studies indicate that 27 million children will go to bed tonight without their biological father in the home.

Growing up I was such a Daddy's girl. He could say "jump" and I would ask, "How high?" I often wonder if Dads really know how much they impact their children when they are engaged in their lives.

Imagine what it would be like if all dads were intentional about being involved in the lives of their children. Research commissioned by The National Center for Fathering showed three key fundamentals of a Championship Father: loving, coaching and modeling. To truly make a difference in our culture, fathers also need to encourage other children, and enlist other dads to join the Championship team.

I recently heard someone say that women take their relationship with their father to the grave. In other words, following up from my last post, fathers parent, they don't babysit. The relationship they have or don't have with their children impacts the lives of their children forever.

What can we do to help more fathers be engaged in the lives of their children?

Fathering

Do fathers parent or babysit?

Tough Economic Times

So here's the biggest thing I have noticed about not having television. I don't walk around all day worrying like Chicken Little that the sky is falling. It seems like everywhere I turn people are talking doom and gloom about the economy and what is going to happen. It is like folks have been brainwashed and that is all they can think about. Are things bad? There is no question we are going through a tough time, but we have all been through tough times before. But, if we are constantly thinking about how bad it is and operate out of a state of fear, how does that help us or anybody around us?

Maybe this is the time to reflect on the fact that we are so blessed compared to the rest of the world. Our children have the opportunity to go to school. We have access to so many services and it is often times like these that bring out the generosity of even those that seemingly have nothing left to give.

One of my favorite sayings is "Garbage in garbage out" The more I let myself take in a bunch of unfiltered junk the more my mind gets weighed down thinking about all that junk. So I have made a conscious decision to stay informed about current issues BUT on my terms.

I have spent time talking with people who experienced the Great Depression and one of the themes I hear over and over again was it brought us together. We had to work together to survive. I'm thinking that isn't such a bad thing!

If these hard economic times bring couples and families closer and create an environment where friends and even strangers learn that we can depend on each other then that would be a really good thing.

Time Together

Okay - so you might think that we did nothing, but watch television when we were home, but that is not true. We actually watched very little television, which is why I think all of us were so shocked at how much additional time we had on our hands when we turned off the television.

So what exactly did we do with all this extra time?????

We spent a lot more time doing things together as a family - like talking about current events, taking the dogs on a walk, working outside in the yard or reading the same book and then discussing it. I even noticed that I actually enjoyed the quiet instead of the background chatter while I was cooking dinner. Yes, I do cook most nights. Surprise, surprise!

Studies indicate that today's young people spend more time watching television (15,000 hours) than they do in school (11,000 hours). During an average year, American youth are exposed to:

-More than 14,000 sexual references
-Between 1,000 and 2,000 alcoholic beverage commercials
-More than 8,000 murders and 100,000 acts of violence
-Approximately 20,000 commercials

I think that most of us don't even realize the things that tend to rob us of real quality time with our spouse and kids. This television thing was a real eye opener for me. I am curious to know other things you have identified that rob us of family time? Any thoughts??

Turning Off Your Television.....

Last January we accepted a challenge from a family friend to turn off our television. I think all of us had our doubts about how this was going to go, but ultimately were very surprised. Initially I missed having the television on in the background while getting ready for work or cooking dinner. After a few weeks I was honestly amazed at how peaceful our home was.
I realized I was hearing birds outside my window in the morning as I was getting ready for work instead of news of rape, murder, war, the election and other tragic events that were repeated at least five times. Instead of starting out the day feeling bogged down about all that was bad in the world, I felt positive about life. I was shocked at the difference in how I felt.

We have had our television off for a year and I am pleased to report not only have we survived, we have actually enjoyed it.

People tell me all the time how crazy their schedules are and how disconnected they feel from family members. I wonder what would happen if they took a time out from television or even limited the amount they watched? My daughter was shocked at how much more time she had on her hands.

At the end of six months we had a family meeting about turning the television on again. Our daughter’s response was, “I think we should keep it off until I graduate from high school. I have too many other things I need to do.” Sweet!

So you may be wondering if we are going to turn the television back on in 2009. If our daughter and I have our way the answer is No! However, some people in our household -no names - would like to watch sports.......

Are you up for the challenge?

Each Day is a Gift

A couple of weeks ago a dear friend of our family passed away very suddenly. I watched as her husband and two daughters grieved their loss. It really made me think about the reality that we are not guaranteed tomorrow. All too often I think I and probably others assume there is always tomorrow to make things right or to say I love you.

The other night my daughter and I were having a conversation about this. I shared with her that what happened to this family is exactly why I think it is important that no matter what has gone on between us that our family parts for the day on a good note. It would be a pretty hard pill to swallow if my last words to my child or my spouse were harsh ones.

As 2009 is knocking at my door, I am thinking about the things I want to focus on in the new year. One thing for sure is making certain that I don't take for granted the time I have with my family and the opportunity I have to make every goodbye or good night count.