Conversations between parents and teens

Loved, loved, loved all the comments about talking to your teens about dating and healthy relationships.

October is Let's Talk month, a month set aside nationally to encourage parents to talk with their teens about issues such as sex and healthy dating relationships.

As a parent, if you have experienced the eye rolling, exasperated looks and statements like, "I already know all that!" you may be surprised to learn that the majority of teens DO want to talk with their parents about these issues. According to a new publication by the National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unwanted Pregnancy, teens say that parents most influence their decisions about relationships - more than friends, the media, other family members, or even their own boy or girlfriend.

If this is a conversation you are uncomfortable having with your teen, there is a great piece called Relationship Redux: Tips and Scripts for Talking to Your Kids about Relationships, published by the National Campaign that I think you will find very helpful.

Here are a few statistics you might find interesting:

One in five teens who have been in a serious relationship say they have been hit, slapped, or pushed by a partner; one in four girls say their boyfriend has tried to prevent them from spending time with friends or family; and one in four teen girls say they have been pressured to go further than they wanted.

One in five teens say they have electronically sent or posted online nude or semi-nude photos or videos of themselves.

Thirteen percent of same-age relationships among those aged 12-14 include sexual intercourse. If the partner is just two years older, that number doubles: 26 percent of the relationships include sex. If the partner is three or more years older, 33 percent of the relationships include sex.

Sexting

Don't know if you have been following the incident where 6 Pennsylvania high school teens are facing child pornography charges after three teenage girls allegedly took nude or semi-nude photos of themselves and shared them with male classmates via their cell phones, but if you haven't and you are a parent you might want to pay attention.

In recent conversations with teens across our community they say this is a common practice - which is really scary for a number of reasons. When a group of middle school girls were asked why they sent out nude pictures of themselves they said they were marketing themselves as good date material. Hummmmmmmmmmmm

The National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy reported that a survey of 1,280 teens and young adults found that 20 percent of the teens surveyed said they had sent or posted nude or semi-nude photos or videos of themselves.

I have to tell you this makes me sad. Our girls are getting some crazy messages if they believe they have to send nude pictures of themselves to boys for them to consider them good dating material. From my conversations, girls tell me that the boys ask them to send these pictures.

In my opinion, something is totally messed up with this whole scenario. For us as parents I think it means we must keep our eyes wide open and not be afraid to talk with our tweens/teens about these issues - even if they don't bring them up.

I personally am committed to not letting the culture raise my child. Not that I am foolish enough to believe she will never do anything wrong, but it won't be because we didn't talk about the crazy stuff that is going on surrounding sex. If our girls believe the best thing they have to offer a guy is their body we are in big trouble.

Would love to hear your thoughts about this.

P.S. Thought you might be interested to know that Facebook has changed its terms. Basically stating that anything that is put on Facebook becomes the property of Facebook even if the account is closed. The Consumerist