Conversations between parents and teens

Loved, loved, loved all the comments about talking to your teens about dating and healthy relationships.

October is Let's Talk month, a month set aside nationally to encourage parents to talk with their teens about issues such as sex and healthy dating relationships.

As a parent, if you have experienced the eye rolling, exasperated looks and statements like, "I already know all that!" you may be surprised to learn that the majority of teens DO want to talk with their parents about these issues. According to a new publication by the National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unwanted Pregnancy, teens say that parents most influence their decisions about relationships - more than friends, the media, other family members, or even their own boy or girlfriend.

If this is a conversation you are uncomfortable having with your teen, there is a great piece called Relationship Redux: Tips and Scripts for Talking to Your Kids about Relationships, published by the National Campaign that I think you will find very helpful.

Here are a few statistics you might find interesting:

One in five teens who have been in a serious relationship say they have been hit, slapped, or pushed by a partner; one in four girls say their boyfriend has tried to prevent them from spending time with friends or family; and one in four teen girls say they have been pressured to go further than they wanted.

One in five teens say they have electronically sent or posted online nude or semi-nude photos or videos of themselves.

Thirteen percent of same-age relationships among those aged 12-14 include sexual intercourse. If the partner is just two years older, that number doubles: 26 percent of the relationships include sex. If the partner is three or more years older, 33 percent of the relationships include sex.

Let's Talk

I'm just curious how many of you parents of teens have had a conversation with them about relationships and dating?

If you have had conversations like this, what do you think are the most important topics to cover?

Teen Pregnancy Prevention Month

May is Teen Pregnancy Prevention Month. If you have been paying attention you know that our teens (all of us for that matter) are bombarded with messages about sex 24/7.

The other day I saw a commercial with a scantily clothed celebrity chef sitting on steps sensually eating a hamburger. Honestly, I felt like I was watching soft porn. It is ridiculous what we are exposed to when it comes to sex. No wonder young people are enthralled with it. Which brings me to my point.

A couple of years ago I was talking to the mother of a teenage boy. I was encouraging her to talk with her son about sex. She said she just couldn't, that her mom didn't talk with her and she turned out okay so she saw no reason to talk with her son. Very sad. Unfortunately, I would not say she is the exception to the rule. This is how many parents think about this issue either because they don't think they have enough information or because they had sex as a teen and don't want to seem like a hypocrite.

Messages about sex are in the media much more now than even 5 years ago. With no guidance from parents, many of our teens are left to draw their own conclusions about sex, relationships and dating from what they see and hear. A tremendous amount of the information is just plain WRONG!

Most teens have no clue that messing around with sex is like playing Russian roulette.


For the month of May, First Things First has partnered with On Point and the Girl Scouts to bring awareness to this issue. We have developed a campaign called Is it the right time? Calling into question are the teen years the right time to be focused on a baby or are there other things like education, sports, friendships, their future, etc that should be occupying their time.

You can visit the website at www.isittherighttime.com We have lots of helpful information for teens. Parents can visit the parent's page on firstthings.org to get tips for talking with your teen about sex, the latest research and other resources.

Please help us spread the word. This is an important issue.

Just out of curiosity, did your parents talk with you about sex and healthy dating relationships?