Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Living Life Whole-heartedly

If someone were to describe the way you live life, would they say you live life whole-heartedly, half-heartedly or with no heart at all?

In case you are interested in a definition for each:

Whole-heartedly living life means you are embracing all that life has to offer with energy, passion and enthusiasm.

Half-heartedly embracing life is like hitting a ground ball to second and jogging to first base because you are going to be out anyway.

Living life with no heart is equal to showing up at your job just for the paycheck.

Where do you fall on this continuum?

Monday, April 20, 2009

What have you done for your marriage lately?

Yesterday I arrived at this beautiful place called WinShape. It is on the campus of Berry College in Rome, Georgia. I think it's about a 3 mile drive to the back of the campus to get to the retreat. This place is amazing. Beautiful scenery (26,000 acres of it), the accommodations are luxuriously rustic and the service is EXCEPTIONAL. There are NO televisions or telephones in the rooms. It is a very peaceful place.

From September to May WinShape serves as a Marriage Retreat. You can come here and do your own self-guided retreat or you can participate in one of the many programs they offer. There are biking and hiking trails and lots of places to just sit and chill out. Did I mention that the food is in you don't have to cook.

Are you living life in the fast lane? Do you feel like you and your spouse are like two ships passing in the night? Would a little get away be just what the doctor ordered to reconnect with your spouse? Check our WinShape!

What have you done for your marriage lately?

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Definition of an Affair

WOW! Thanks for all the responses!!!!!

In my last post I asked the question, "What constitutes an affair?" I received a number of responses. I think this one encompasses the gist of most of them:

"If you spend time, energy, emotions, romance, and yes, even virtual sex with anyone or anything other than your spouse, it is defined as "an affair". After all, if you are spending those things on someone else, virtual or real, you are robbing from your spouse!"

Enough said!

Two good reads on this topic are, Torn Assunder by Dave Carder and Not Just Friends by Shirley Glass.

Friday, April 10, 2009

What Constitutes an Affair?

I have a question for you. If you are in a committed dating or marriage relationship, what constitutes cheating?

I just read an article about folks who are jumping into the virtual world of Second Life and basically living a "second life" on line. They have an on-line identity (an avatar) that they can manipulate to look however they want. They can marry someone, have children, have any kind of job they want, etc.

Many of the folks on-line are married in real life, but having "pretend" sex online with an avatar.

So, is this cheating??????

Sunday, April 5, 2009

Gardening and Marriage

This weekend I worked in the yard. Woo Hoo!!!! I pulled so many weeds even my fingernails hurt. Several of us in the neighborhood have gone together to grow a vegetable garden. We spent Sunday afternoon tilling up the garden. While we were tilling we ran across a snake. I would have taken a picture of it for you, but forgot I had my phone in my pocket. Too bad for you. He was a cute little critter.

Working in the yard is like therapy for me. I LOVE digging around in the dirt. But, I have to tell ya, last year I let one of my flower beds go because I just didn't have time to mess with it and this year I AM PAYING FOR IT! It is overgrown and clearing it out is a REAL PAIN!!!!

So why am I telling you all this? Because while I was pulling the begillion (not sure that is a word) weeds, it really made me think about how bad things can get when you don't tend to your marriage or to your kids. Weeds start growing up. If you get to them quickly they don't take over, but if you let time go by looking at all the weeds can be totally intimidating. Sometimes you walk away just because you think, "I can't possibly deal with this." Which only makes things worse in the long run.

Just like weeds and ground cover choke out the beautiful flowers, so unresolved issues and petty arguments choke out love for your spouse and children.

It's spring time. Do you have some weeding to do?

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Teen Dating Violence

Just read a report commissioned by Break the Cycle: Empowering Youth to End Domestic Violence.
Did you know that:
  • 1 in 3 teens will experience some form of abuse in a dating relationship;
  • teens who suffer from abusive relationships exhibit increased rates of substance abuse, high risk sexual behaviors, eating disorders and suicidal tendencies;
  • More likely than classmates to bring weapons to school; and
  • 3 times more likely to be involved in a physical fight.

Each state was given a grade for how well prepared they are for dealing with this issue. Tennessee scored a C because it makes protective orders difficult for teens to obtain. If you are under the age of 18, you have to have a parent or a caseworker to file the order for you.

Interested is seeing how your state scored? Check out