Thursday, January 22, 2009

I recently wrote an article about women who talk badly about their husbands behind their back to other women. I honestly was shocked at the response I received from men all over the world. Here is the part that seemed to resonate with them:

I honestly don’t think women spend much time thinking about how they treat their husbands.

One man wrote, "I really don't think we are as selfish and incompetent as our wives make us out to be. We just don't do things exactly the way she thinks they ought to be done.

I interviewed therapist and author Michele Weiner Davis for this article. She agreed that this is a huge issue in many marriages and cited this example:

A few years ago she was facilitating a group of women who wanted to improve their marriages. As the evening progressed she noted that it started to feel like a male-bashing session. Wives were saying things like, ‘I feel like I have another child.’ ‘My husband never does anything to help.’ After listening for a few minutes she asked these ladies this question, ‘If your husband were here and you weren’t, would he say you are more complimentary or critical of him?' Weiner Davis said it was as if a light bulb went on for many of the wives. One woman said she recently returned home to see that her husband had mowed their 3 acre spread and her only comment was, ‘you missed a spot under the tree.’

Wouldn't it be nice if we were intentional about talking about all of the things husbands do right? Sometimes it is really easy to get caught up in petty stuff and that can wreak havoc in your marriage.

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