Monday, January 26, 2009

Have You Loved Your Spouse Today?

People usually make it a point to celebrate birthdays, Mother’s Day, or Father’s Day, but when it comes to celebrating marriage, somehow it just doesn’t show up at the top of the list. Marriage is like anything else in life….cars, plants, or your body, if you don’t do preventive maintenance a major overhaul could be on the horizon.

Unfortunately, instead of understanding that marriage has its ups and downs, many couples make the decision to throw in the towel during the low points when, in reality, their marriage could not only be saved, it has the potential to be really great. According to research conducted by Dr. Linda Waite from the University of Chicago, almost 80 percent of couples who were “very unhappy” in their marriages and agreed not to divorce described themselves as “very happy or quite happy” five years later. According to this research, permanent marital unhappiness is surprisingly rare among the couples who stick it out. For some couples asking for help feels like failure. Spouses often talk about pride getting in the way of seeking guidance or help. Yet going through with a divorce often makes people feel like the ultimate failure.

How many times have you heard a child say “I can do it myself!” as you stand off to the side thinking, “If only he would let me help, it would be so much easier.” Today we have a wealth of excellent resources from mentors to books, videos, enrichment classes, marriage friendly counselors and marriage retreat weekends. It is hard to comprehend why anybody would indignantly say, “I can do it myself!”

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