Tomorrow my husband and I will celebrate our 20th wedding anniversary. Both of us consider it a huge deal since we both come from homes of divorce.
To celebrate, I surprised him this past weekend with a getaway to a friend's cabin. It was GREAT!!!! Saturday morning we actually slept in 'til 9:30 - something we haven't done in the 20 years we've been married. We spent the day not doing much of anything, but we did talk a lot about the people who have helped us get to where we are today in our marriage.
We have been very fortunate to be surrounded by a group of family and friends who have walked this road with us through job transitions, the birth of our child, brain surgery, family illness and exciting accomplishments. Some of these people have been with us from the day we walked down the aisle. Others have come along more recently, but ALL of them have held us accountable, encouraged us, laughed and cried with us, prayed with us and helped us to navigate this road.
There is no question that even the best of marriages can be challenging. My husband and I both agreed that trying to do marriage by yourself can be treacherous. While we have made some mistakes, we think we have been spared from making huge blunders by watching the examples of those who have been married significantly longer than us.
Who is walking along side your marriage?
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
Conversations between parents and teens
Loved, loved, loved all the comments about talking to your teens about dating and healthy relationships.
October is Let's Talk month, a month set aside nationally to encourage parents to talk with their teens about issues such as sex and healthy dating relationships.
As a parent, if you have experienced the eye rolling, exasperated looks and statements like, "I already know all that!" you may be surprised to learn that the majority of teens DO want to talk with their parents about these issues. According to a new publication by the National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unwanted Pregnancy, teens say that parents most influence their decisions about relationships - more than friends, the media, other family members, or even their own boy or girlfriend.
If this is a conversation you are uncomfortable having with your teen, there is a great piece called Relationship Redux: Tips and Scripts for Talking to Your Kids about Relationships, published by the National Campaign that I think you will find very helpful.
Here are a few statistics you might find interesting:
One in five teens who have been in a serious relationship say they have been hit, slapped, or pushed by a partner; one in four girls say their boyfriend has tried to prevent them from spending time with friends or family; and one in four teen girls say they have been pressured to go further than they wanted.
One in five teens say they have electronically sent or posted online nude or semi-nude photos or videos of themselves.
Thirteen percent of same-age relationships among those aged 12-14 include sexual intercourse. If the partner is just two years older, that number doubles: 26 percent of the relationships include sex. If the partner is three or more years older, 33 percent of the relationships include sex.
October is Let's Talk month, a month set aside nationally to encourage parents to talk with their teens about issues such as sex and healthy dating relationships.
As a parent, if you have experienced the eye rolling, exasperated looks and statements like, "I already know all that!" you may be surprised to learn that the majority of teens DO want to talk with their parents about these issues. According to a new publication by the National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unwanted Pregnancy, teens say that parents most influence their decisions about relationships - more than friends, the media, other family members, or even their own boy or girlfriend.
If this is a conversation you are uncomfortable having with your teen, there is a great piece called Relationship Redux: Tips and Scripts for Talking to Your Kids about Relationships, published by the National Campaign that I think you will find very helpful.
Here are a few statistics you might find interesting:
One in five teens who have been in a serious relationship say they have been hit, slapped, or pushed by a partner; one in four girls say their boyfriend has tried to prevent them from spending time with friends or family; and one in four teen girls say they have been pressured to go further than they wanted.
One in five teens say they have electronically sent or posted online nude or semi-nude photos or videos of themselves.
Thirteen percent of same-age relationships among those aged 12-14 include sexual intercourse. If the partner is just two years older, that number doubles: 26 percent of the relationships include sex. If the partner is three or more years older, 33 percent of the relationships include sex.
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
Let's Talk
I'm just curious how many of you parents of teens have had a conversation with them about relationships and dating?
If you have had conversations like this, what do you think are the most important topics to cover?
If you have had conversations like this, what do you think are the most important topics to cover?
Monday, September 28, 2009
Love and Respect in Relationships
Well, I don't think folks liked my previous blog post very much.
That question was actually posed to a random sample of 400 men. Eighty-two percent of those surveyed said they would rather be alone and unloved in the world than disrespected. I thought that was really interesting.
Dr. Emerson Eggerichs, author of Love and Respect and Cracking the Communication Code has spent a lot of time looking at the issue of love and respect in men and women.
Bottomline - women want to be loved and men want to be treated with respect. You may be saying....and..... your point? Well, because men and women see things so differently, when conflict enters into a relationship things can get really tricky.
Generally speaking, when a woman feels unloved she responds with disrespect and when a guy feels disrespected he usually acts in ways that are unloving. The conversation goes something like... (Guy)"I'll love you when you treat me with respect." (Girl) "I'll treat you with respect when you love me."
Based on lots of experience with couples across the country, Eggerichs knows that this back and forth between spouses often leads to what he refers to as "the crazy cycle."
For example: A woman tells her husband she feels fat and needs to go on a diet. He happens to be at a bookstore picking up a newspaper when he sees a best-selling diet book. He buys it thinking he is helping his wife to accomplish her goal to lose weight. When he gives the book to her, she goes ballistic accusing him of being insensitive and they jump on the crazy cycle.
Truth be told, if her best girlfriend had purchased that book for her and suggested that they work the plan together, the response would have been completely different.
Dr. Eggerichs and his wife Sarah are coming to Chattanooga on October 9 and 10th to present the Love and Respect conference.
They will talk about why two good-willed people negatively react to each other; how two people can positively motivate each other by doing one simple thing and the rewards of a Godly marriage and what a person can do if personal expectations are unmet by a spouse.
For more information about the conference click here.
I am curious to know what you think about the whole love and respect concept.
That question was actually posed to a random sample of 400 men. Eighty-two percent of those surveyed said they would rather be alone and unloved in the world than disrespected. I thought that was really interesting.
Dr. Emerson Eggerichs, author of Love and Respect and Cracking the Communication Code has spent a lot of time looking at the issue of love and respect in men and women.
Bottomline - women want to be loved and men want to be treated with respect. You may be saying....and..... your point? Well, because men and women see things so differently, when conflict enters into a relationship things can get really tricky.
Generally speaking, when a woman feels unloved she responds with disrespect and when a guy feels disrespected he usually acts in ways that are unloving. The conversation goes something like... (Guy)"I'll love you when you treat me with respect." (Girl) "I'll treat you with respect when you love me."
Based on lots of experience with couples across the country, Eggerichs knows that this back and forth between spouses often leads to what he refers to as "the crazy cycle."
For example: A woman tells her husband she feels fat and needs to go on a diet. He happens to be at a bookstore picking up a newspaper when he sees a best-selling diet book. He buys it thinking he is helping his wife to accomplish her goal to lose weight. When he gives the book to her, she goes ballistic accusing him of being insensitive and they jump on the crazy cycle.
Truth be told, if her best girlfriend had purchased that book for her and suggested that they work the plan together, the response would have been completely different.
Dr. Eggerichs and his wife Sarah are coming to Chattanooga on October 9 and 10th to present the Love and Respect conference.
They will talk about why two good-willed people negatively react to each other; how two people can positively motivate each other by doing one simple thing and the rewards of a Godly marriage and what a person can do if personal expectations are unmet by a spouse.
For more information about the conference click here.
I am curious to know what you think about the whole love and respect concept.
Saturday, September 26, 2009
Love or Respect?
Would you rather be left alone and unloved in the world or viewed as inadequate and disrespected by everyone?
Friday, September 25, 2009
Truth about Marriage and Family
Last night First Things First had its largest fundraiser of the year. It was amazing. Michael O'Brien played for a sold out crowd! He was AWESOME. You can hear him at www.michaelo.com.
We showed this video and people LOVED it! Soooo, I thought I would share it with you. Out of the mouths of babes comes real truth about marriage.
A Fresh Look at Marriage
We showed this video and people LOVED it! Soooo, I thought I would share it with you. Out of the mouths of babes comes real truth about marriage.
A Fresh Look at Marriage
Thursday, September 17, 2009
Can you Say D-I-S-R-E-S-P-E-C-T?
Absolutely unbelievable were the words coming out of my mouth as I watched Serena throw a temper tantrum on the court.
I did not hear the President's speech on healthcare, but I was quite shocked when I heard a Senator yelled out in the middle of it.
Then to top it all off Kanye West jumps up on stage and takes the microphone away from Taylor Swift to tell everybody that Beyonce really had the best female video.
I have had to ask myself, "What is this world coming to?" What happened to manners and respect even when you don't agree?????
If I had done any of these things....even in my adult years, my mother would have had my head.
My husband and I have spent a lot of time and energy teaching our daughter to be respectful even when someone does not deserve it or you don't like what they are saying.
Living in a civil society means that "Anything does NOT go." There are certain things you just don't do.
I hope there were a lot of dinner table conversations with kids about these three examples of inappropriate behavior. Otherwise, we have a lot of young people who are going to assume that anything goes.......
Your thoughts?
I did not hear the President's speech on healthcare, but I was quite shocked when I heard a Senator yelled out in the middle of it.
Then to top it all off Kanye West jumps up on stage and takes the microphone away from Taylor Swift to tell everybody that Beyonce really had the best female video.
I have had to ask myself, "What is this world coming to?" What happened to manners and respect even when you don't agree?????
If I had done any of these things....even in my adult years, my mother would have had my head.
My husband and I have spent a lot of time and energy teaching our daughter to be respectful even when someone does not deserve it or you don't like what they are saying.
Living in a civil society means that "Anything does NOT go." There are certain things you just don't do.
I hope there were a lot of dinner table conversations with kids about these three examples of inappropriate behavior. Otherwise, we have a lot of young people who are going to assume that anything goes.......
Your thoughts?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Posts
